you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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