I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
