why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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