My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We're too hungover to prance.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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