he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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