And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My balls are so social today.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
