the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
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the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??