Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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