But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.