Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
