We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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