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While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
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