Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.