He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
