I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
True strength comes from lack of pants
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize