Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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