I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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