ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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