Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
