Are we in a gay sports bar?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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