idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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