Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
