sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
