I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize