The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
