You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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