3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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