3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You've changed since you got that strap on
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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