So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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