creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
