omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I need moral support for this bender
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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