I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
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Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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