Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
