i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
