you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
