Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
