Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
