Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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