Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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