As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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