She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
