Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
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I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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