I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
