I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
