She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
