Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
