Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
