Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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