I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
