Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Where is the hickey?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
