i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
