I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize