oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Vodka?
Forever.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
