He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can't put those talents on a resume
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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