So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
