if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
