I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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