Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
