the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
